I broke up with myself

I broke up with myoldself

My life took a turn back in 2020, when I decided to quit my corporate job and jump into our family start-up business weinvolve.

At that time, I didn’t leave behind my love for technology. I didn’t know it, but in the back of my brain, I knew I wanted to go back to the engineering world. That was the only place I knew, that was my identity, fully anchored in me. 15 years of my life.

In the past 4 years, I have become an entrepreneur. I re-engineered myself, learning all facets of the business. We tried so many things. Some were successful. We had a grand start, we had fun, but then some initiatives were also hard work with short-term outcomes.

In 2023, finances pressing (that’s the risk when both you and your spouse are running a start-up, with our 3 kids behind), I decided to look for opportunities back in the corporate world. In some ways, I was devastated, as it meant admitting failure, giving up, … but another side of me was excited, back to technology, the love of my (professional) life, released from the weight of the company. Keeping it as a hobby was more than enough.

I sent CVs, … received rejections, and nothing for a while. But suddenly, I had 2 opportunities under my nose where I could bring it all together; my 15 years of engineering + my 5 years of innovation and entrepreneurial experience, and my business mindset. After the final interviews, I was supposed to get an answer within 10 days. But they kept me waiting… A couple more weeks of impatience and I received one more rejection. The pressure was rising. 2 days later, boom, the answer came: “the final selection was tough, but we chose a better suited applicant.”

I was down for a few days…

And in the last months, you might guess I hadn’t spent much energy in the business.

I shacked myself and decided to put on the second gear and become much more present on the marketing side, doing things I was very clear the week before I would not do, like posting every day on social media, still very uncomfortable.

But I hadn’t done the full shift yet. Something inside was still resisting. My old me, precious identity was still causing me doubts. What people from my network would say about me, my ex-colleagues, seeing me posting about topics far away from gas turbines, energy or the environment.

Those thoughts were still present. What if I burn the bridge, my last chance to get back there, what if I cannot anymore deep dive in engineering systems and root cause analysis, technical innovation, …

A couple days back, I posted about personality shift. That was not an easy post. It took courage to express those ideas in the open, to the public. It’s closed to my heart as I believe treating the human side of the picture is most important if we want to tackle the world challenges in a sustainable way. I had little reaction, all day silent from my network.

While I was lying in bed late at night, reviewing the day in my head, it suddenly hit me.

There is no turning back. Only moving forward.

There is no option B.

That was my old me, the me I was in love with, and I was trying to protect. But this is not love, this is attachment. I made the decision: Stop living in the past. Your reptile brain wants to keep you in the know at all costs. But it is a much too expensive burden.

How sad can it be?

There is so much more to explore, so much more to be excited about. My head started booming with ideas and things I never dared to do.

So much to let go of my old me, my old personality.

All the self criticism, all the not good enough, the stiffness, the fear of rejection, the procrastination, the “I cannot decide”, the control, the “sorry to bother you”, the “what if this is the wrong move”, … the short-tempered, the impatience, the frustration, the people pleasing, the “I don’t belong”, …

In the bin.

I told my old me: “adieu”.

No guilt, no blame, no feeling bad. Just moving on.

I want to explore a new relationship with my new me and get excited again. Create new opportunities and move forward.

In business, as in life, there is no playing safe, no cautious move, thinking if that option doesn’t work out, I can still recover with this alternative…

You’re either in, or you’re out.

I’m reborn…

I’m ALL IN

Up to now, weinvolve had one full heart beating. Now you have 2 strong hearts pumping hard.

Coming up for you, our 66 days Rebirth program!

It’s designed to help you on the journey to letting go the attachment to your old self, while discovering and nurturing the new courageous you, with ease and fun.

Want to shake some sides of your personality?

Build up the courage to follow your crazy dreams and creates new opportunities?

Only one way… forward!